Y-O-U-R MEANS “YOUR”
Right. So this is the part of the program, children, where mommy needs to pour herself a glass of vino and hakuna her tatas, because the topics that will be discussed in this lil’ soapbox series get her all riled up.
First off? Grammar. Get some. I don’t pretend to be the All-Knowing Grammar Goddess, but I at least know how to discern between fucking ‘their’/‘there’/‘they’re,’ ‘to’/‘too,’ and my personal favorite, ‘your’/‘you’re.’ If anyone wants to drive me to an early grave, feel free to incorrectly use all of the above. Or just one. That should do it.
Good grammar, make that, basic grammar is a frickin’ necessity. There is nothing more devastatingly soul-crushing than talking with a babe on Bumbs/Tinds/Hinge, being all cute, only to be hit with a “your beautiful/funny/sexy” sucker punch. This whole situation’s a mindfuck because initially you’re like, Yeah bitch, you bet your ass I am. Thnx 4 noticing. But then you’re like, Oh word you really have zero IQ. Annnnnddd *unmatch*.
How? How. How at twenty/thirty-something have you made it this far? How can you possibly not realize that those couple extra letters or funny marks in between them denote entirely different meanings and forms of punctuation? I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.
Poor grammar is basically the fastest way to lose respect for someone. Mmk, maybs I’m being a tad hyperbolic, but anyone with eyes should have noticed by now that the different iterations of the same homophone were probs been invented for a reason. I dunno, maybe to distinguish between the different meanings? Who can tell.
Think about it, though: If you receive a work email and the PR chick’s mucked up the spelling, she loses all credibility. Sure, typos happens. However if people are repeat poor grammar offenders, then you’re going to linguistic jail, mate.
How you can really tell if someone gives good ‘Gram is if they know when to use “you and I” versus “you and me.” There’s truly nothing sexier in my eyes. No, I will not attend if it’s just you and I, but hell yeah I’m coming if it’s you and me. (For anyone wanting to dazzle language lewzas like me, if the sentence didn’t have “you” in it, would it make sense? The nachos is not between y̶o̶u̶ a̶n̶d̶ I, it’s between y̶o̶u̶ a̶n̶d̶ me.)
You might think I’m being excessive or overly critical. But at the end of the day, there’s a big difference between knowing you’re shit, and knowing your shit.